The season that could have been special for the Yankees, the season that might have ended their 12-year post-season drought and the season that they often conceded might never be duplicated officially ended yesterday without a resolution on the field. When Bud Selig, the acting commissioner, canceled the remainder of the baseball season, the Yankees were left to wonder what might have been.
They possessed the finest record in the American League at 70-43, they had the top hitter in the league in Paul O'Neill, they had perhaps the elite pitcher in the league in Jimmy Key and they had a wonderful chance to rumble to the World Series for the first time since 1981.
But their terrific achievements will now be stashed away, stuffed into record books that focus on a season turned meaningless because of a protracted labor dispute.
"It's a very terrible day," said the majority owner George Steinbrenner. "It's a very depressing day because we were doing so well and it looked like we were going to win our division. To have that not happen is real hard."
Although the cancellation had become more of an inevitability in recent days, the somber mood that had enveloped the Yankees offices in the Bronx grew even drearier, even gloomier yesterday. Even while the players and the owners seemed to be at separate ends of the Grand Canyon during negotiations, there was always a chance for a settlement and a chance for the Yankees to resume playing with a six and a half game lead over the second-place Baltimore Orioles.
But that possibility vanished yesterday.
"I can't believe what's happened," said O'Neill. "All along, I've been waiting for a call to tell me to come back and play. Now, who knows when that will be?
"Nobody is going to run onto the field to end it this year. It's weird. There's no doubt in my mind we had a chance to win this thing."
General Manager Gene Michael was depressed, too. "You wake up with this sick feeling," he said. "It's like losing five or six games in one day. It's a tough thing to go through."
The voices of the Yankee officials told the stories of frustration. Steinbrenner's was gruff, reflecting his aggravation that potential losses could escalate into the high millions. Michael's voice was despondent as he explained how he detested coming to work during the strike and wondered if he will be able to assemble such a quality team again.
Manager Buck Showalter sounded lethargic as he spoke about Don Mattingly still not being able to participate in the playoffs, and as he tried to ignore the World Series dreams that had been erased. He declined to designate the Yankees the American League East champions.
"I made no secret about saying all year that I thought we surrounded ourselves with pretty special people," Showalter said. "We'll never know now what they could have done."
Or how it would have felt in the Bronx in October 1994.
"It's the greatest feeling in the world to have your team in the World Series," Steinbrenner said. "It's the greatest thrill you'll ever know in your life. You see the look on people's faces and you realize just how incredible it is. We lost that."
On those October evenings when the World Series would have been played, it will be difficult for the Yankees to avoid being angry. They won 70 of 113 games, they focused on advancing to the playoffs and they had a balanced and cohesive team. Now they are a scattered bunch, and Mattingly, their symbol of October futility, the veteran star who has hinted at retirement if the work stoppage dragged too far into next season, has still not secured a post-season at-bat.
"I feel Donnie will be back," Showalter said. "I don't feel like we'll be starting over, but there are some things we'll probably have to go over. We have the potential for a lot of changes in our club."
The Yankees will almost certainly have a new look when they play their next game because only six players are under contract for 1995.
"We'll never know how good we could have been," said catcher Jim Leyritz. "We have four or five free agents who might not be back. As dominating as our team was, it's unfortunate we'll never find out whether we could have dominated the National League, too."
Leyritz also doubted if the close-knit Yankees of 1994 could be mimicked by the next set of 25 players wearing pinstripes.
"I don't think you're ever going to get that feeling again," Leyritz said.
Michael wondered too. Although Steinbrenner intimated that O'Neill would definitely be signed if he becomes a free agent, the future is fuzzy. Mattingly, who turns 34 next April, might retire. Derek Jeter, a minor leaguer who is 20 years old, could become the starting shortstop. Jim Abbott might have tossed his last pitch for the Yankees, and Randy Velarde and Mike Gallego could also depart.
"You wonder about the future," said Michael. "You just don't know what to think. You also worry about the fans. I don't know what we've done here. I don't know if we can do this. I don't know if we've done irreparable damage. I worry about that."
Worries abounded.
"I'm worried about us playing by opening day in 1995," Steinbrenner said, "unless they are able to come to the table with respect for each other. If they can bridge this great mistrust, then I think we can have meaningful negotiations."
While Steinbrenner and others wait for meaningful negotiations, hopes for a meaningful season officially died yesterday.
"It bothers me that we won't be remembered 10 years from now for having won anything," Michael said. "We were good enough to win this thing. We had the kind of makeup to win it all. It's a downer."
